A Letter To Ellen Degeneres;

Dear Ellen,
My name is Jessica Hosch, and about a month and a half ago, I won your 12 Days of Giveaways Watch and Win Contest.  I'm sorry I did not write sooner, life has been such a whirlwind recently!  But my mama raised me right, and I can write a mean thank you letter!  And so *ehem*...

Thank you, of course for all the lovely, amazing, mind-blowing gifts and prizes.  We are enjoying them immensely.  Landon in particular loves the Ryobi power tools.  Kidding!  We don't allow our two-year-old to play with anything so dangerous.  Without passive supervision, that is.

Thank you (and your insanely wonderful crew) for the overwhelming hospitality.  Maybe you knew, and maybe you didn't, but I was about 8 weeks pregnant at the time I flew out to LA.  (I am now 14 weeks, and feeling great!)  So, in our dressing room before the show (oh, yes, thank you for a dressing room!  HOW SWEET WAS THAT?!) some sweet angel laid out snacks and brought me a sandwich at the slightest whisper of nausea.  I felt so special!

Now, I feel like I hugged you roughly between 10 and 100 times.  I know you have a bad back, so I apologize if I hurt you.  I was worried I would hear you had called out the next day because of me.  Thank you for allowing me to release some of my shock via compulsive embraces.

To be fair, I could have refrained more, but Ellen, you smelled fabulous.

Which reminds me-
I take a break from thanking you now to lodge a few complaints.
After hearing about my interaction with your staff and crew, it should not shock you to hear that really, they are too nice.  I mean, in our dressing room before the taping, some bubbly ray of sunshine had the audacity to burst through the door. She then entertained us for approximately 15 minutes with jumping, screaming, and general excitement building activities that led me to believe I could run a marathon on demand.

Our accommodations while in LA were altogether too convenient.  Our drivers were much too courteous, the hotel too comfortable, and the fact that Universal Studios was 5 minutes away?  What are you trying to prove?

To top off everything, the entire experience was one surprise to another.  From the time your show reached out to me, to the moment you said my name, I had no idea I had won anything.  I mean, it was like some kind of exaggerated adventure.  Were you trying to overwhelm me with fun and luxury?  Because you succeeded.

I mean, the only thing that could possibly have been left out, is that I was not offered a job working directly with you when all was said and done.  Perhaps there were no openings at the time we met.  Well, I have really just done you a favor, because now you know exactly who to call as your next BFFNFF (Best Former Fan, Now Forever Friend) in residence.

Haha, only kidding.
(Not really)
But I totally am.
(not)

Also, I am now ridiculously famous.  All of my family and friends recognize me at least twice as well as they did before, and I have been forced to mention to no less than FOUR different store clerks that I was on your show.  Ugh, such a hassle.

I can't go anywhere without pretending everyone is noticing me.  How do you cope?

I actually had to cut my hair to avoid all this attention.  It did nothing, as it only emphasizes how solid our friendship is.  I haven't had to avoid any paparazzi yet, but that's because they are hiding really well, I'm sure.

But I've almost forgotten!  I still have a few more things to thank you for!

Thank you for the peace of mind you have given us.  Many of the gift cards have been put towards food and clothes long needed.  In fact, we haven't had to buy our own groceries since the show.  That's a huge deal for us, since it has enabled us to save our own money that would otherwise be long gone.  We hope to have saved enough for a family vehicle by the end of this year, and it is really thanks to you.

You've given us courage to live louder.  To pursue happiness every day, and spread it with as many as we can.  It has been such a wonderful transition in our home, and I can't help but sit down every night and marvel at how blessed this experience has proven we are.

Just meeting you, alone, was a lifelong dream of mine.  It was fantastic, and I sincerely hope our paths cross again.

But in case they don't, you must know how much you've done for us.

Thank you for this incredible memory that I will carry with me forever.  As younger parents, we work exhaustively to ensure a bright future for our kids.  When that is the path you are on (for however long), you start to pray for the day you'll catch some kind of a break.  It has been a great validation to us of human kindness.

Thank you Ellen,
Jessica, Josh, and Landon.

When You Witness A Miracle

I've been witness to a miracle.
And no, I don't mean that in an I've-seen-something-pretty-astounding-that-surprised-me way.
I mean, a 100% authentic, life-altering, makes you weep tears of joy miracle.

Let me paint you a picture.

(Please note, I promise not to exaggerate if you promise to read to the end, deal?)

It was August, 2014.  My husband and I had been married for 2 and a half years.

First of all, our bodies were 100% done.  I was working a job where Red Bull was my main source of fluid, and Josh (attempting to work through as much school per semester as our schedules would allow) was on the easy-to-grab diet.  We had both gained weight that refused to leave.  But more than the weight, we were so tired.  When I say tired? I mean, utterly spent.  Waking up was a chore, maintaining mental clarity was taxing, and exercise?  We'd get discouraged too quickly to give it a try.  Keeping up with my toddler was equivalent to running a marathon.

We're in our early 20's... we felt like 50.

Second, work left us unfulfilled.  In fact, last August I was let go from a job that has assured me most emphatically, they would be keeping me long term.  A job that told me on a weekly basis I was doing amazing.  In fact, 2 days before they dismissed me, I chatted in my manager's office about my position with the company, and he had told me it was concrete.  My dear husband was racing to finish school, for a job he had told me, more than once, he was not close to passionate about.  He knew it was a means to an end: supporting a family.  He felt noble in that.  He felt like it was enough. That broke my heart.  I wanted more for him.  So much more!  Our schedules were so busy, we saw each other maybe 1 or 2 days a week, if we were lucky.

We were knowingly accepting a life of mediocrity.

Third, we no longer felt like ourselves.  We were not happy.  Things that used to consume me, like my writing, music, being outdoors, dancing... meant little.  The love of my life hardly played basketball, hadn't done a drawing in months, and seemed mildly supportive at his highest of high.  We would wonder to each other "what happened?" Was this simply a slump that all married couples go through?  When does it end?  On paper we are doing what we are supposed to... but why do I feel so DANG EMPTY?!

One day, enough was enough.  If we had to break the norm to do it, dang it, we would.
So we changed a few things.

And we started being reeeeal honest with each other, and ourselves about what we really wanted.

He said, I want to be home with you all the time.

I said, I want that too.

I said, I want to have a body that feels like it should.

He said, I want us to feel young.

I said, I want to travel.

He said, I don't want to work behind a desk my whole life.

I said, I want to help people.

He said, I want to build a financial legacy for our children.

I said, I need to finish my book.

He said, you need to finish your book.

I said, I want another baby.

He said, I'll help!

We said, no more mediocre.  No more typical.  No more monotony.

We said, what if?...

And we said, the only thing standing in our way, is US.

Here is a new picture.

It is February, 2015.  My husband and I have been married for 3 years and 2 months.

First of all, we are at our healthiest since we've been married.  It gets better every day.  We exercise (which is pretty impressive for me, because I am now pregnant with our second child), and enjoy it!  I can think clearly, and all the fog is GONE.  Josh has lost so much weight, we are needing to reconstruct his wardrobe!  We have the energy two adults in their early 20's SHOULD have.  We enjoy eating healthy, and have incorporated a nutritional cleansing system that is out of this WORLD.  In fact, as I type this, my husband is breaking in another pair of new workout shoes at the gym.  Oh, and he plays basketball every week.  The boys he plays with have started calling him THE HOSCH.  Yeah, like THE HULK.

Second, we have found it.  Our dream job.  We now help people gain ownership of their lives, physically and financially, and enjoy telling the status quo to SHOVE IT.  We work for ourselves, so no chance of losing this job!  Ever.  It has ignited such a passion in us, we can't imagine doing anything else.  It is bringing us closer and closer to ending those "day jobs" forever, and working from home as a team every day!  Yeah, we're not mad about it. ;D

And third.  We have long talks about where we are at.  As humans, individuals, a couple, parents, etc.  And we are in agreement, we are the happiest selves we've been in years.  Complete, whole, fulfilled, assured.

And guys, I weep those tears of joy at least every other day.  Maybe this doesn't seem like a miracle to you, but my life has taken a turn in the opposite direction.  And it is amazing over here.

You know what's funny, too?  All those years spent going by the textbook were supposed to offer so much structure, assurance, stability, and happiness.  And we never felt that way for a minute.  Fear, though.  A lot of that.

And now?  People have called us crazy, that our choices are unstable, and will fail us in the end.  We've been told that we should be realistic.

I don't know guys, what I'm feeling is pretty real.
I'm not afraid anymore.
I have such an overwhelming sense of peace.

I am telling you.
Miracle.