Pretty Spectacular

Merry (belated) Christmas!  I hope you romped and frolicked and dined and enjoyed the most lovely niceties of a holiday nature. :)

I was enjoying a quiet house this afternoon while my son napped, and my husband was at work, allowing thoughts to wander (which they are wont to do).  I experienced a really lovely moment of clarity, looking back on the events of 2014.  It has been, I think without doubt, the most challenging year to date, for me.  This is due to the undeniable fact that in this year, I believe I have grown more within myself than at any other time of my life.  That is to say, I believe at this point and time, I know myself better than I ever have.

For anyone that has spent any time trying to accomplish this intensely personal feat, you will no doubt nod your head when I profess that it is one of the most frightening adventures you can attempt.  I have been forced, none too gently, to confront and overcome some gharish monsters I've been hiding away.  On top of that, I have determined it is time for me to acknowledge my potential.  What I could never have anticipated, is that in doing so, I have come to admit that I have been guilty of settling.

I find it an ugly word.

Other words I have come to despise are: mediocre, average, expected, typical, ordinary, standard, common...

In 2014, the thing I have come to face, again and again, is how little I want these words to serve as a description of my life.

What is to stop me from living the life of my dreams, but my own fears?  I have spent hours and hours reading books and watching documentaries of people who started with a desire, and made it a physical reality.  There are many more than you would ever imagine!  Isn't it amazing how many excuses I've come up with, as to why I could never live an extraordinary life?

What makes it even more funny, is that it isn't as if I am still figuring out my desires.  I know what it is I want to achieve in my life.  Every thrilling, heart-stopping, risk-taking, passionate, heartfelt moment of it.  I am ridiculously fortunate enough to have a husband that not only encourages me to dream big, but puts his dreams right next to mine and holds my hand while we pursue them.  Together.

And so, my dear, few, but lovingly loyal readers, that brings me to right now.

Mark my words.

2015 is my year.

I am standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump with both feet.

I don't know what the fall will bring.

I'll tell you what I do know, though.

I know exactly where I am headed. 

Because the view from up here is pretty spectacular.

To All Single 20-Something Girls - Enough.

Girls, let's chat.

I wrote a blog post a long time ago discussing that Nice Guys (don't) Finish Last.  Give it a read if you would like.  The quick version is, men need to stop wasting time on pursuits that don't fulfill them.  You can't wait for the things you want in life to magically come to you.  You've got to become the kind of person that attracts those things.  I basically threw down the hammer, and let the boys know that the excuses need to stop.

And now, it's your turn.

I recently came across this gem a friend posted on Facebook.  Funnily enough, that friend is a young, single girl in her 20's.  This article isn't the first of it's kind.  To the contrary, over the last year or so, I have seen countless blogs and columns devoted to the excruciating trial of being a young, single female.  Lists, memes, #hashtags, uttered in an attempt to validate how "real" the struggle is.

ENOUGH.

Enough complaining that you seem to repel every male within a mile.  If you need a man to make you happy, you never will be.  And you'll never be able to attract one of the caliber you seem to demand, either.  Yup, I have the audacity to say this as a married woman.  Men do not equate fulfillment, girls.  And REAL men, ones who don't do one night stands, and will hold your hand and take you to meet his mother... well they don't really seek whiny, self-deprecating, unsatisfied, seemingly helpless females.  They'll weed you out of their prospects so fast, you won't even realize you might have had a chance.  You are being guilty of the same thing I mentioned to the guys.  Making every excuse possible so you don't have to blame yourself.  YOU and YOU ALONE attract that which you want to obtain.  There are some great books on the subject.  If you can lower yourself to such an idea, try cracking one open one time.  It's almost as exciting as stalking your ex on Instagram.  Except you get to walk away feeling good about yourself.

Enough complaining about your body.  Forget thigh gaps and tight tummies and flabby arms and wide hips and cellulite butts.  Stop wishing that salads tasted like pizza, and that you could drown in cake.  Stop wishing you could trade bodies with your 13 year old sister.  You know what is more important than looking like a candidate for America's Next Top Model?  Health.  If you want to lose weight, hop on a damn treadmill.  If you hate how soda makes you break out, try a little H2o.  Girls, you act like you have absolutely no control over how you look, and how you feel about your body.  I am a huge supporter of the idea that skinny does not equal beautiful.  I am also a huge supporter in TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.  Girls, you are in your 20's, and it doesn't get easier from here.  Take a stand, and close your mouth before another gallon of ice cream finds its way in there.  Self control is still a thing.

Enough complaining about other girls having things you want.  If your best friend got engaged, married, or pregnant, you better be congratulating the hell out of her and her significant other.  Especially if you expect people to be happy for you when it's your turn (remember, again, that would mean you have to be the kind of girl to attract a great guy.  Get it together.).  If you are seriously that upset about being asked to be a part of the wedding, you don't deserve to be there.  She's invited you to be a huge part of the most important day of her life.  If that upsets you, your selfishness has hit a new high.

Enough with the selfish, lazy entitlement.  I know that there is an app for everything, but that doesn't mean you have to actually use them for everything.  If you would quit living out of your phone and step out in the world (or even off the couch/bed) once in a while, you might find opportunities to expand yourself.  Just because you are young and striking out on your own... it does not mean you deserve the tan, clothes, house, limo, jewelry, etc. you so often obsess over on Pinterest.  You deserve what you work for.  That's it.

Speaking of work, stop complaining about your job.  We've all worked places that did not make us happy.  Those of us who have solved that problem?  We got ourselves together and looked for something better.  We quit, or took a risk, or sacrificed temporary pleasures for more lasting happiness.  If your boss is that pervy, or your bonus was less than your liking, TAKE ACTION.  You are in a place in your life that you have the time to start over.  

Enough mourning your periods, cramps, and girlish emotions.

Enough jealousy.  SO MUCH ENOUGHNESS.  

Enough blaming your parents/siblings/family for situations in your life.  I don't care how messed up or not your family is, if your life is not up to par, you get to blame yourself.  J.K. Rowling said it best: "There is an expiry date on blaming your parents (and I'll also insert family in general) for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you."

Girls, it is a rapidly changing time in history, and with each advance, society becomes more and more entitled, and less willing to examine themselves progressively.  This causes countless social stalemates, and innumerable sources of unattainable pursuits.  Don't let yourself become bitter or absorbed in what you don't have.

Work with what you do have.

And trust me, when you really commit to being the person who can attract your desires... big things happen.

Best of luck.

P.S. Leggings are not pants.

Impossible is a Word to Be Found Only in the Dictionary of Fools

Hello, loves.  Let's have a chat, you and I.

My favorite holiday is fast approaching.  Surprisingly, it is not Christmas, although it could be contended I missed my calling as an elf at the north pole, such is my enthusiasm for this time of year.  No, my favorite holiday is New Year's Eve.  People usually think it odd that New Year's holds such a special place for me, when Christmas and Thanksgiving are contenders.  I suppose I just take it very seriously.

I've always loved something about a fresh start.  As one of my favorite authors, L.M. Montgomery wrote, "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" 

I've been thinking a lot lately about failure.  The benefits of it, the harshness of it, and the decisions it inspires.  It is a difficult thing to experience, almost like life itself has rejected you.  But the more I examine failure, the more I have come to conclude this:

You can either let it beat you into the ground, or you can pick it up and wield it to achieve victory.

Oh, and isn't it heavy sometimes?  Reality is though - this is the price of dreams.  This is the price of greatness in life: inevitable, crushing, failure.  Maybe the road to your dream will take you through 1 failure, or perhaps 1,000.  There is a girl I know, a lovely Australian girl named Peta Kelly, and she recently put something in perspective for me.  I think you might also find it enlightening.

Pursuing your dreams is not HARD.  Don't you dare ever use that word.  Being blown up in a volcano - that is hard.  Waking up each morning without the gift of water - that is hard.  Not having the ability to move your body -  that is hard.  Being beaten, abused, hungry, dying - THAT IS HARD.  But going after your dreams?  No.  That's not hard.

Not to mention that it is perfectly possible to fail at doing the things that don't make you happy as well!  I learned that when I lost my last office job.  I think Jim Carrey said it best.  Take a look at these words from his commencement address earlier this year at MUM.

"My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that it was possible for him.  And so, he made a conservative choice.  Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant, and when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive.  I learned many great lessons from my father.  Not the least of which, is that you can fail at what you don't want - so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."

This upcoming New Year's kickstarts massive action.  I have determined that I will probably fail a lot in 2015.  But I have also determined that I will achieve more success and more of my dreams than ever before.

We live in a day and age in which I have come to believe anything really IS possible.  I recently watched a man explain that the wealthiest places in the world are graveyards, because they are so full of ideas never acted upon, and dreams never made real.

But we're not dead.  YET.

13 days from now marks a whole new year.

I write this all here, because I want you to come with me.  Whatever your heart calls for the most, let this be the time you finally ask for it, and put those words to action.  What EXCITES you?  What makes you smile uncontrollably?  What is it that brings tears to your eyes, you want it so much?

Write it down.
Let's do it together.