The other day, I was taking a trip down memory lane looking through old pictures (as one does) and was whisked back to my days as an exchange student. I spent a year in Hungary. That year was easily the most difficult of my teenage years, and my heart goes out to other young adults who decide embark on their own adventures abroad. It is a thrilling, yet terrifying endeavor, and rarely goes the way you expect it to. So I write this with you in mind, young ones (and also your parents), so you might understand the reality of things.
Now, don't get me wrong. Going on an exchange might very well be the best decision you ever make. For crying out loud, it is where I met my husband! There are countless opportunities for growth and culture and self-discovery along the way. There are also lots of red flags that are often kept hidden until it is too late, and you are alone in the big world without being prepared.
Let's simplify shall we? I will make a list of the things I wish I would (or wouldn't) have known before embarking on my exchange.
1. I was sponsored through the Rotary Youth Exchange Program, but I guarantee that most every program is the same:
they can NOT ensure your child's well being and safety. They will do their best, I am sure. But mistakes are made. In my year I was placed under house arrest without provocation by my own host family, taken to clubs (by rotary alumni) with a lot of inappropriate activity going on, encouraged to party hard (drugs included), and boarded in hotels in
very sketchy areas. A few times I was even told to figure out my own place to stay the night before a Rotary event. Traveled alone at night... well, you understand. To me at the time, it was very exciting and made me feel adventurous and independent. But looking back...
so many dangerous circumstances that could have been avoided! Of course, it does depend where you go on your exchange. Different country, different rules. But chances are, most places besides the states are deceptively lax with the students.
2. On the note of
partying, I would say about 85% of the exchange students I met were only in the program to have a good time. If you are nervous about exposure to drugs, sex, and alcohol... well, you do have reason to be. Most exchange programs have a lengthy sign-up process complete with interviews, and screenings. It doesn't mean everyone that gets in is the cream of the crop.
3. I'm going to stick a good note in here and say that if you (or your child) has a good head on their shoulders, chances are, everything will work out fine. Ultimately, they did for me. But I would be less than honest if I didn't mention that it was hard for me when I felt like I was not accepted by the other students (with the exception of a few friends). I was branded as a boring stick-in-the-mud, and well, kids can be cruel, even if it is only through exclusion.
Just stay true to yourself.
4. Going foreign?
Learn as much of the language as you can in advance. That should be obvious, but still, dedicate yourself. It makes for a better experience.
5.
Culture shock. It will get you when you leave home, and when you come back. You'll spend many nights crying your eyes out. Just know it passes. Coming home is ultimately harder than leaving home.
6. To help with culture shock,
leave home where it is. Don't bring a lot of stuff that will remind you of home. Don't spend too much time on Facebook, or writing letters to friends. Some of that is good. Especially keep in touch with your family. But don't prevent yourself from living in the moment.
7.
Do things that make you uncomfortable. Eat it if it looks weird. Wear it even if you feel silly, say it even though it sounds wrong. Just try.
8.
Learn to ignore peer pressure. Not just from other exchange students, but from students at your host school as well. This might sound like it goes against #7, but you'll know the difference when you are standing there. Try new things, yes. But if you feel sincerely wrong about something, there is no shame in standing your ground.
9. The country you choose dictates so much, so please don't just pick the one that sounds the coolest, or the one with the most beaches, etc. Really do your research on your options and
CHOOSE WISELY.
10.
Allow yourself to change. It is such a huge experience, and you will not come back as the same person you were when you left. Don't be afraid of those little alterations. They will make you better, stronger, happier, and smarter than you were before. You'll grow as much as you allow, and these changes will prepare you for the future in ways you won't even understand.
I don't regret my exchange, but I was so unprepared. That's all.
Now what kind of nostalgia would this be if I didn't include a few pictures?!
