The Customer is Always Right (Not)

The world of retail is a place I never thought I would find myself.  But unfortunately, being an aspiring writer doesn't actually pay many bills... at least until I complete my dream of a bestseller... someday...

#impossibledreams

Yes, I have spent the past 3 years in various retail positions, and I have learned some universal truths about working in a customer service setting.  So get ready for some exasperated honesty.

In retail, the key point is to treat the customer as though they are always right.  The reasoning behind this, is to help the customers to feel heard and valued.  Not a bad goal.  However, this quickly makes most people entitled douches the second they enter a store.

My job in customer service is to help the customer have a good experience, and find the things they need.  Great.  I am more than happy to help.

It's just... some days...

I have created personas for the various people I any retailer comes across any given day...
You'll understand.

The Bargain Shopper
Who doesn't like a good bargain?  No shame in that!  But please, understand you can't apply 6 coupons to one item.  Also, this is not a 3rd world marketplace where you can barter a price.  I'm glad you are prepared to pay full price for that comforter.  No, that doesn't mean I will throw in a blanket free.  A missing price tag does not mean it is free.  And stop switching the sale tags to the non-sale items.  We know our merchandise.  We want you to walk out happy about the money you spent, but understand, there are deals we can't cut just because you ask.

The "Do You Know How Important I Am?"
I'm so glad you have confidence.  However, it does not mean I will come to your house and assemble that desk.  I have a life outside of this store, if you'd believe it.  Stop talking on your phone while I check you out at the register.  It is so rude.  Being you doesn't qualify you for 50% off.  Hold up the line for 5 minutes while you nonchalantly fish in your purse/pockets for your credit card?  Why not...

The Night Shopper
I can't believe I even have to talk about this, but going to shop in a store 5 minutes before it closes is a JERK move.  You have another time this week to shop, I guarantee it.  Holding up 10 employees so you can browse for 45 minutes and load up your cart is completely obtuse.  GO HOME.

The Return-a-holic
Every time you shop, you inevitably return half of it the next day.  Here's a thought: decide what you need before you purchase!  It doesn't help that every time you return, you swear we aren't giving you all your money back.  It's right there on the receipt if you don't believe me.  Get a manager?  Sure.  They'll tell you the same thing I spent the last 10 minutes going over with you.  It's a time waster for us both!

The Parents With Reckless Children
I am a mother, so I understand it is hard to predict when your children will decide to be unruly in public.  There have to be limits and consequences though, and they need to be enforced.  An apologetic look after your kids topple the display I worked an hour on doesn't make it better.  If your kids can't handle themselves in a store for 15 minutes, don't bring them in.  We have a busy day, and it's really hard to get our stuff done, and clean up the merchandise your offspring just destroyed.

The One Who Touches Everything
It takes a lot to keep a store looking neat, well stocked, and organized.  It is a lot harder when you feel the need to pick up every item you see without putting it back the way you found it.  You wouldn't make a mess like that at home (at least I hope not), would you?  Just because you are not the one cleaning it up doesn't mean it is OK to create chaos in your wake.  Also, this is usually the one that never puts their cart away, consequently making us traverse an inferno-like parking lot to retrieve it.

The Lonely Talker
There's always that one person who wants to tell their life story while you check them out.  We don't mind being social.  In fact, it is a relief sometimes to have a nice conversation with a customer.  Please understand that we do have to get on with our day, and don't mean to snub you as we usher the next guest in line.  We can't pause our day.

The Critic/Comparison Shopper
Retail is demanding on a lot of levels.  It is a fast-paced, multi-tasking environment that works on a lot of levels.  We are sorry our store doesn't carry the same shelf as this store.  Did Amy at Wal-Mart cut you a better deal?  Great.  Shop there.  Honestly, we will do our best to help you.  Just know that attacking our establishment won't get your much farther.

My point is, please be nice to those cashiers.  Be polite to that associate.  Practice some patience while we locate that item.  We are happy to help.  It's just easier when you aren't a nightmare to deal with.