Blogtober Day 4: Change and Being Yourself

I few years ago, I was returning to my hometown after being away for a while.  I was excited to see my family, meet up with old friends, and hang out at old spots.  It was familiar and refreshing, and more than a little strange.  In the process of reconnecting with some people, I met up with an old friend named Meghan.  We had been so close before I left, so I suppose it was surprising when something seemed off as we talked.  I could tell something was really agitating her, and I was validated when she finally blurted, "Wow, it's just too bad.  You've really changed."

I was really thrown off when Meghan lobbed that one at me, because from where I sat, I was just being myself.  I mean, I suppose I saw things a little differently than I once did, but isn't that just a natural occurrence of life?  I was still me.  I had just gone through a bit of refining.  But to Meghan, because I was not the me she was used to, I was not me at all.

Have you, dear reader, ever been accused of "changing" before?  As if it was some deplorable act?  I mean, how dare you. 

As we move into each new phase of our lives, it is necessary for us to adapt.  Sometimes that is really difficult. 

For example, when I first got married, I came to realize that I didn't have the same passion for certain things I once did.  I used to love dancing, acting, and playing the ukulele.  Not that I still don't love those things, but they simply aren't as high on the importance scale anymore.  This rearrangement of things confused me for a while.  I simply didn't feel like myself.  That is, until I accepted my new self. 

Isn't it ironic that all the little clichés we learn as children end up being completely true?  What was the advice every kid heard from their parents a thousand times or more?  "Just be yourself!"  I used to think that being myself just meant being honest.  You know, saying my favorite color was orange, even though everyone else said they like blue.  Time has given me a new perspective.

Being yourself is a far more inward pursuit.  It is accepting yourself the way you are, and not being afraid to let the world see it.  Through the changes.  It is wanting the best for yourself, and finding the right ways to get it. 

I guess what I mean is, only you can decide who "yourself" is.  It takes a little self examination once in a while.  You can't fixate on the past and continue being the same person your whole life.  People just don't work that way.  I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason.  Usually not the reason we think, but still.

This isn't to say we shouldn't care at all what others think of us.  Perceptions are still important.  There is a fine line between confidence and ignorance.  Don't compare yourself and your progression with others.  No one is perfect, and they have their own demons you don't even know about.

I thought I would share all this, because one of my recent goals is to be more comfortable being me.  It seems like lately there have been a lot of situations where I feel I need to adjust to someone else's definition of myself.  Every time it happens, I can't help but get taken back to that conversation with Meghan years ago... I don't like how it makes me feel.  So honestly, I'm stepping up and out.

Watch out world.