So, Today

Right now, I am writing just to write.  Whatever pops into my head.

This might get weird.  More likely, very rambly and all over the place.  Because that is the way my head works.

So, after a few "social ventures" I think I know the key to success.  The key is to genuinely not care about any conclusions someone could be drawing about me.  Also, not to leap to any myself.  I have found that I am much more content when I take each experience for what it turns out to be and stop over thinking.  Did they think that joke I just told is lame?  Oh well.  Did they notice how weirdly sweaty I felt?  So what if they did?  I feel comfortable with myself the way I am, and that's quite nice.  I laughed exactly 18 times, and 17 of those were sincere.  The one pity laugh was directed at myself, so... not bad.

The past few days have been really good.  I've felt a steady sort of peace that helps me feel a lot happier, despite my brain trying to tell me how miserable I should be.  I am tired of my anxiety and depression ruling out how my week will go before it even starts.  I try not to keep score with myself, but I think this week is leaning in my favor.  I take pride in that.  It's all about the little victories, and I think the more I put myself out there, the more I feel like my old self again, which is the real me.

I try and find 1 truly beautiful thing every day to keep me smiling.

My favorite was when Josh got home from work yesterday.  Landon always gets so excited when his daddy walks through that door.  He started giggling, and Josh just lit up, despite how exhausted I knew he had to be.  It's one of those moments you want to replay over and over.  Probably the most beautiful thing of my week so far.

WAIT.  I also made some pretty delicious cake Sunday... so ... maybe that's in the running too.

Speaking of food, what is up with caramel lately?  I mean, I don't mind it, but lately it's like this constant craving.  I want to douse everything in caramel.  So weird. #IpromiseI'mnotpregnant

In the past 3 weeks I have received 6 compliments from customers at work (so, total strangers) about how I have perfect skin.  I blame this on my epic, awesome sister-in-law Andrea, because she hooked me up with a bunch of Nu Skin products.  She does lab work for them, and I have been using that stuff every day.  Looks like it works!  If you would like random strangers to compliment your face also (I don't see why you wouldn't), check it.

I am really proud that I killed a scorpion all by myself the other day.  Usually I have to yell for Josh to come get them, because every time I see one I jump up on a chair and I'm like, "BACK DEMON!  BACK TO THE FIERY CHASM WITH YOU!"
It was in the laundry room just chillin on the floor.  And when I was done peeing my pants, I got a shoe and smacked the crap out of it.  Seriously I hit it like, 10 times at least.  It didn't put up much of a fight (whichmayormayNOTbebecauseitturnsoutitwasalreadydeadinthefirstplace)... but in my heart, I still felt like a hero.

Little victories people.
(Someday I'll graduate to killing live ones)

OH, And can we please be so freaking happy together that Juan Pablo is the next Bachelor?  Ho.ly.Crap.  It's like, all my prayers have been answered.  I just... why isn't it January yet?

Wheeeeelllll... I guess I'm done spouting off.  Sometimes you just need to spout nonsensical topics. 

Kthxbye. :)