It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean I inevitably disappoint myself frequently. But here is the thing, I know what I am capable of, and that is encouraging. Because I am capable of anything, honestly. I've seen myself do things I was certain would be impossible. This has made me far more daring, open, and passionate about my pursuits. So far, it's done nothing but good for me.
Here's hoping it continues.
I have hit a point in my life, where I stand on a precipice. Looking over the edge, I am greeted by a plethora of smells, sounds and feelings, but can not see the bottom. Only darkness. Do I jump into nothing, to possibly gain everything? Or am I too gullible to see the certain demise opening it's maw wide open to devour me? I can't stand here forever guys.
The thing is, turning away would go against the whispers of my heart. I can't leave these questions unanswered. If I fail and get burned, I know who will be there to bring me back.
So, that's what's been on my mind lately.
Times like these, I rediscover myself. We always think we have ourselves figured out, don't we? Will I ever really know what makes me tick? If I don't know, my husband doesn't have a prayer.
I've started to sing again. I forgot how I much I love it. Someone told me I sound like Norah Jones once. It might be one of the best compliments I have ever received. I doubt the truthfulness of it, but still. If beautiful, beautiful Norah and I were ever to meet, there's a conversation piece? I'd humiliate myself. Let's be honest.
I'm great at humiliating myself.
In other topics, it has come to my attention that I have, in fact, some semblance of a readership? My manager (Well, ex-manager, enjoy California, Josh. And your stupid beaches too.) told me the other day that he spent 3 hours reading my blog a couple weeks back? And then again, an old childhood friend confessed she follows my blog closely? Shucks, ya'll. I'm both flattered and self-conscious. What else is new.
I'm listening to some really fabulous music at the moment. For those of you who don't know, I have a very real, very serious love for blues music, blues dancing, soul, etc. Throwout to my husband, who was sweet enough to learn to blues dance for me. He claims he can't dance. But, oh. He can.
In any case, I am contemplating putting together a playlist and publishing TWO posts tonight. Because if you don't know blues music... you just, you should. That is all. Soothes my soul, period. If you have a soul, it will soothe yours too.
Oh, I'll probably be back.
Stay riveted.
