Blogtober Day 15: Worst Date

I have lots of awkward stories.  I can be a very awkward person, so it only makes sense.  It's not like I plan it out.  I'm a people pleaser.  I am in constant fear of being the party pooper in any situation, so I try to go with the flow to an extent. 

This is a story of one of those times I really wish I hadn't.
Everyone has one of these stories.

It was, ehem, the worst date ever!

His name was... well, let's call him Macho, because his real name was actually sorta girly.

I'd known him for a few years.  I had moved away not long after we met, but we kept in touch with Facebook and whatnot.  One day, Macho told me he'd be in my neck of the woods, and he'd like to take me out.  I didn't see why not...

Now I know.

To start the night off, he was 45 minutes late.  A little rough, but I tried to be understanding about it.  Macho showed me his... uhm... car?  Some sort of 2 seated contraption about the size of a go-cart.  He was really proud of it though, so I nodded my head like it was impressive.  I guess it was.  I was genuinely impressed he could fit in the driver's seat, anyway.

So we got in the car, and started driving around.  Macho hadn't asked me where I wanted to go prior, so I assumed he had a plan in mind.  I was game.  But maybe planning wasn't his strong suit, because we just drove around town for probably a good hour.  I have no idea what we talked about, but he had a lot to say about himself, that's for sure.  I sat and listened, wondering if I could be interesting too.

We finally passed a movie theatre, and Macho saw that Tron was playing.  I had never heard of Tron.  By his reaction, it was a pretty big deal.  I told him we should go see it (anything was better than driving).  We checked the showing list, and he mentioned his friend had really wanted to see Tron, too. 

So naturally, as any guy does on a date, Macho called his friend.

It makes sense they were friends.  His friend took an hour and a half to meet us at the theatre, because his sister was dropping him off.  Birds of a feather...

Let's call his friend Sidekick

By this time, we went to a late showing around 10:30 or 11.  I paid for my own ticket

Funnily enough, Sidekick (the guy who really wanted to see Tron) had never heard of it either, and so we were a little confused as the movie progressed.  Macho kept whispering for us get over it every time we tried to deduce the backstory.  It was a good movie.  It would have been better if I'd understood...

When the movie was over, I sort of assumed he would take me home.

But let's remember that Sidekick didn't have a car.

Yeah, 3 of us squished into Macho's go-kart.

The boys declared themselves starving, and drove to the nearest IHOP.  Never mind it was past midnight.  I sat through an hour and a half of Macho and Sidekick swapping stories about their "obnoxious Exes" and how silly girls could be.

Silly me.

I paid for my food.

Now that we were done eating, I figured he had to be taking me home (I was getting desperate), and I subtly hinted at how late it was.  We all piled into the car, and Macho declared we would take the scenic route.

The scenic route involved Macho showing off all the things a minuscule car could do.

Like drive on sidewalks through the park.
Or do really tight turns in parking lots.
And make my claustrophobia reach new heights.

When I finally insisted Macho should take me home, he obliged, saying he was "getting sick of me for tonight."

His. Exact. Words.

At 3 in the morning, we pulled up to my house, and Sidekick got out so I could escape the car-tomb.  Macho said he was going to get sushi for lunch the next day.  I was invited.

I think my response was... "no way in ... heck."