Blogtober Day 11: The Importance of Kindness

When I was in high school, I had a crush on this boy.  Let's call him "H".  We had grown up together, gone to all the same schools, and even the same church.  Of course, it was crazy of me to think I could just ask him if he liked me too.  I hoped though.  We were both outgoing, knew the same people, did a lot of the same things.  One day, a mutual friend who knew us both well got a confession out of me.  Let's call this friend "K". 

K volunteered to investigate for me, via the almighty text.  I sat and read each text as the conversation progressed.  It went like this:

K: Hey, I know this girl who kinda has a thing for you.
H: Oh yeah?  Who is that?
K: Jessica.
H: Which one?
(There are always a million Jessica's)
K: Pulsipher.
H: Oh yuck, shoot me now!

And thus, I was utterly, completely, shot down.

It's not as if he said it to my face.  He had no way of knowing I was reading those words.  But because I did, I have never been able to look at him the same way again.  At the time, I was 16, with body issues, self esteem issues, and every insecurity teenage girls put themselves through.  His comment was fuel to the fire, and it hurt me in a way that felt intensely personal.

How often do we commit the same crime?  Someone is always watching, whether we realize it or not.  Now, I am not innocent.  Gossiping comes too easily, and judgment pops into my head before I have time to correct myself.  But it's never too late.

Growing up, my mother was the most kind, compassionate person I've ever known (and she still is).  There was a phrase I used to hear her repeat over and over any time I felt wronged or hurt.  "Kill 'em with kindness."

I think about her words all the time.  As a kid, I always thought that when I was an adult, people would stop being mean.  We'd be past that, wouldn't we?  Sadly, I have come to realize the very opposite path is taken.  When that happens, it is so satisfying to picture their retribution, and focus on the ugly.

What if I did start to "kill 'em with kindness?"  Maybe it wouldn't put an end to their behavior.  Probably not.  But I bet they'd remember.

We live in a world that is so heavy with discrimination and prejudice.  If I know one thing, it is that we can not control others, only ourselves.  It makes no sense to wait for a change we aren't making within ourselves.  Stop caring so much about other people's lives and start revising your own.

Take on a different perspective.  Be optimistic about yourself and others.  Instead of thinking how lazy and irresponsible that overweight receptionist is, take the time to appreciate how well she does her job.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what are we allowing our eyes to see?

In the words of Ellen DeGeneres: "Be kind to one another."