Blogtober Day 28: Imagination

Growing up, I was taught various virtues of the sort I'm sure every child is introduced to.

Kindness, Patience, Cleanliness, Honesty, etc.

I've always thought we were missing one that is all too important to children and adults alike.

Imagination

It is easy enough to maintain when you are young.  I remember spending countless hours building forts that were really palaces, and traversing jungles that sprouted up in my backyard.  I had my own little dreamworld that I visited constantly.  That dreamworld was as real to me as anything else.

Now that I'm older, I forget how long it has been since I visited.  A fact that saddens me.

I understand that, as we get older, reality offers more pressing needs than those dreamworlds.  But do we have to forsake them all together? 

One night, months ago, when my depression was hitting me hard, my husband wrapped me up in a blanket, held me tight, and asked what he could do.  The first thing I blurted out desperately was, "tell me something happy."

Then we escaped together, he and I.  Just for a few minutes.  Suddenly we had a big, beautiful house.  I wish you could have seen it.  It was everything we dreamed of.  Lots of windows, too.  Green yard, lots of flowers.  We had a few children running around, each a better reflection of us, with smiles and laughs that spread easily.  There was a room tucked away with all kinds of pretty things to look at, and a typewriter.  I could stow away there are write all day if I wanted to.  We had food to eat, and pretty clothes, and our children attended Hogwarts.

Maybe it sounds silly, but as Josh painted that picture for me, everything made sense again.  It isn't that I forgot what made me sad in the first place.  It is that I remembered how to make myself happy.

Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.
-Henry David Thoreau

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-Mark Twain

An idea is salvation by imagination.
-Frank Lloyd Wright

Of course it is happening inside your head... but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-J.K. Rowling

Blogtober Day 11: The Importance of Kindness

When I was in high school, I had a crush on this boy.  Let's call him "H".  We had grown up together, gone to all the same schools, and even the same church.  Of course, it was crazy of me to think I could just ask him if he liked me too.  I hoped though.  We were both outgoing, knew the same people, did a lot of the same things.  One day, a mutual friend who knew us both well got a confession out of me.  Let's call this friend "K". 

K volunteered to investigate for me, via the almighty text.  I sat and read each text as the conversation progressed.  It went like this:

K: Hey, I know this girl who kinda has a thing for you.
H: Oh yeah?  Who is that?
K: Jessica.
H: Which one?
(There are always a million Jessica's)
K: Pulsipher.
H: Oh yuck, shoot me now!

And thus, I was utterly, completely, shot down.

It's not as if he said it to my face.  He had no way of knowing I was reading those words.  But because I did, I have never been able to look at him the same way again.  At the time, I was 16, with body issues, self esteem issues, and every insecurity teenage girls put themselves through.  His comment was fuel to the fire, and it hurt me in a way that felt intensely personal.

How often do we commit the same crime?  Someone is always watching, whether we realize it or not.  Now, I am not innocent.  Gossiping comes too easily, and judgment pops into my head before I have time to correct myself.  But it's never too late.

Growing up, my mother was the most kind, compassionate person I've ever known (and she still is).  There was a phrase I used to hear her repeat over and over any time I felt wronged or hurt.  "Kill 'em with kindness."

I think about her words all the time.  As a kid, I always thought that when I was an adult, people would stop being mean.  We'd be past that, wouldn't we?  Sadly, I have come to realize the very opposite path is taken.  When that happens, it is so satisfying to picture their retribution, and focus on the ugly.

What if I did start to "kill 'em with kindness?"  Maybe it wouldn't put an end to their behavior.  Probably not.  But I bet they'd remember.

We live in a world that is so heavy with discrimination and prejudice.  If I know one thing, it is that we can not control others, only ourselves.  It makes no sense to wait for a change we aren't making within ourselves.  Stop caring so much about other people's lives and start revising your own.

Take on a different perspective.  Be optimistic about yourself and others.  Instead of thinking how lazy and irresponsible that overweight receptionist is, take the time to appreciate how well she does her job.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what are we allowing our eyes to see?

In the words of Ellen DeGeneres: "Be kind to one another."