2014

Why hello blog, we haven't spoken in a while.

The year is almost over, and I'm pleased to discover that I'm pretty excited about that!

New Year's has long been my favorite holiday, and for some that seems strange, given that we just had Thanksgiving and Christmas (also awesome).  It's just that, well, there are few things in life I love more than a clean slate.  And not just that, but an opportunity for change.  For improvement.  For adventure.  I am quite fond of all those things.

One of my favorite books, Anne of Green Gables, says: "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it."

But I often recite it to myself with a little revision: "Tomorrow is always fresh, with every opportunity in it."

And this, friends, is why I am excited for this new year.

I know for many, New Year's is a time of revision, repentance, and hopeful do-overs.  But at this point in my life, I find that idea pessimistic.  I think that too often, we sit and mourn all of the things that went wrong, and say, "next time I'll do __".

For me, that has never yielded the best results.  I've found that if I set a goal while pledging to right a wrong I've committed, or fix a flaw, I focus too much on the mistake.  I then get discouraged, lose hope, and go back to old habits.

In reality, there is nothing wrong with you.  Just be a better version of yourself.

There is an idea that in order to be happy, we must change who we are.  I disagree.  I think that happiness comes when we accept who we are, and then set out to perfect that person.

That is what my hope for this year is.

Back From Vacation

Hello, there.

After posting daily for a whole month, it was pretty fantastic to take a breather on the blog and focus all my writing energy on my book instead.  The book is, by the way, coming along quite swimmingly.  In fact, I'm convinced I might even finish it before I die.

Maybe.

But blogging does give me a different sort of satisfaction, so I will try not to leave you again for so long.

It's late, honestly.  I keep asking myself why I'm not snuggled in bed.  I guess it's just so quiet...

Except for my son whimpering in the next room... hold on...

Ah, better.  And all is well again.

I suppose I could simply offer an update on myself and life and whatnot.

My depression has been kicking me in the butt the last couple of weeks.  Granted it was, uh, time for my "visit" and I may have forgotten to take my meds a couple days in a row (5.  5 days.  Oops.), but now that I'm back on track I hope I can regain some sense of sanity.

Wait... baby whimpering again... no... ok.

Poor kid.  I hope he isn't having a nightmare.
That's my thing, usually.

If you know me, and have seen me lately yawning like an abyss or looking so dead-eyed I actually could be dead... It's because of the nightmares.  And the depressive moments, and the not-getting-enough-sleep.   Mostly that last one.

It'll pass.  The holiday season is upon us, and I happen to be a notorious Christmas freak.

I mean it, I started listening to Christmas music... long before most of you would deem acceptable.  I kind of take pride in it.  Just a little.

If I ever do have a house someday, I swear to you, I will be that crazy neighbor with a musically timed Christmas light show in her front yard.  I will be the lady who cranks out 1,000 boxes of sugar cookies in a day, and hand them out like the delicious commodities they are.  I absolutely will be the lady who will stage an elaborate visit from Santa for my kids long after they are old enough to know "the truth."

Also, not to brag, but I am pretty much done with my Christmas shopping.  I even got Josh his anniversary gift already, which is a week before Christmas.  So... I rock, basically.

Well, I think my brain is finally deciding to relax for the evening, so I am going to head to bed before I lose this precious moment of clarity.

Good night.