I remember when my fiancé-now-husband proposed. September 3rd, 2011. He took me to the lake at sunset, and led me out to the end of the docks. We had a perfect view of the water expanding out to the hills, and the sky was lit up in oranges and pinks. He knelt down, delivered a lovely little speech, and pulled out the ring. I stood there, smiled like an idiot, nodded yes, and received cheers from several families camping along the beach who had decided to watch. Then the lake patrol guy came up and yelled his congratulations, before noisily speeding away. The little things you remember, you know?
But as I woke up the next morning, I realized I was now responsible for the biggest event of my life. Like the very well thought out people we are, we chose December 17th as our wedding date. Yes. 3 months for me to plan a wedding. Yikes.
Long story short, I had a very lovely wedding day. It had all the important things, and I was helplessly, hopelessly happy. That's the goal, right? Was it an absolute fairy tale? Maybe not. But after going through the insanity of it all, I decided there were a few things I wish I would have understood.
Unless you are from another world where stress does not exist,
every bride gets a little freaked out while wedding planning. Whether you are worried about the budget, decorations, venue, guests, bridal party, or all of the above... you've got a lot on your plate! I get you girl. Oh, how I get you.
So this is going out to the engaged ladies everywhere.
Don't sweat the small stuff. There is often a point in the planning where it all becomes one big blur. Flowers and colors and food and lighting... learn to separate. Are the name cards as important as the playlist? Take it one task at a time, and put the big stuff first. All the tiny odds and ends? Either delegate or put it aside, because it isn't worth a breakdown (or three).
Give yourself time. Probably my biggest/only regret is having such a short engagement. If you are thinking in that direction,
stop. Allow yourself at least 6 months to put all the pieces together. There are so many aspects to a wedding you forget, or issues you didn't expect. If this is going to be a sweet memory instead of blatant chaos, trust me. Take it slower.
Delegate. The most stressful thing you could do is try to take it all on yourself. If you are a perfectionist, or a bit of a control freak (like me), this is going to be hard. Know it's ok. Your loved ones want you to have a beautiful day too. Get a group together that you trust and give them each one task. Simplify.
Stick to your guns (and budget). There are going to be a lot (and I do mean a
lot) of people that want to give input for your big day. Depending on who those people are, it can really confuse you and cause you to lost track of what you originally wanted. Be courteous and kind, always, but stay true to your vision. Be open to ideas (who knows what you'll come across!), but don't feel obligated to let other people take the reigns. As always, money will be a big factor in play. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go over budget. The end.
Enjoy the process. Set apart at least one day a week for you to get away from the planning. Take your man out on a hike, take a spa day, binge watch a new show on Netflix (my usual favorite). If you are always planning, you quickly lose enthusiasm.
Tone down your inner bridezilla. Not all girls become one, but there are moments... before you implode like a dying star, ask yourself what is important. No one can ruin your day but you.
Make it about the two of you. I save this for last because it is the most important thing to remember. This is not "the bride's" day. I don't care what the stigma is. This day is about you and your beloved, and the love you share. Let him be part of the planning if he's willing (even if he isn't, make him feel special too). Let him pick things he likes. You can't be selfish about your wedding. We, not me.
A little helter skelter, but that is my two cents. Take it or leave it.
(
take it)
