Blogtober Day 20: I Wish

There are days that I wish I could put in a box and never have to look at again.  I have caught myself all too many times uttering the phrase, "I wish."  I wish these dishes would do themselves.  I wish Josh would be home from work already.  I wish Landon could understand when I ask him to stay out of the cabinets.  I wish I was a better cook.  I wish I was so socially awkward sometimes.  I wish...

What is a wish, really though?  At first I think maybe it is just hope.  But that doesn't seem right.  Hope is putting faith in something that is possible.  Difficult perhaps, yes.  But possible.  Dishes do not simply jump up and scrub themselves.  So I may as well leave hope out of the mix. 

Wish is more synonymous with want.

If I replace the word wish with the word want in the previous phrases... I realize how petty I sound.

Anyone else feel guilty of this sometimes?

I am so focused on what I don't have, I forget what I do.  It isn't just about possessions or responsibilities.  I also find myself wondering what if?

What if I made a little more money?  What if I lived somewhere else?  What if my son had come later?

This is just as pointless as I wish because what if is equally hypothetical.

There is a quote from Lord of the Rings that sums up my feelings on those stuff-them-in-a-box days.

Frodo says, "I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."

And Gandalf replies, "So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought."

I believe there is a lot of truth in that.  Perhaps the road I find myself on was meant for me alone.  No one else could travel it.  Instead of lamenting my fate, I should be more encouraged that I was chosen for these tasks.  It could be worse, and it could be easier.  That is not the issue.  The issue comes from within.